[ Peter absolutely doesn't doubt that, and is... both parts curious and a bit terrified to see John in Full Force without any Deerington limitations. ]
Like whiskey? My dad used to drink that How long have you known him? Wait, is he that friend you told me about once, who used to get you in trouble when you were younger?
[ ....John had, in fact, told Peter that his friend's name was Jasper, but Peter... forgets things. Names, dates, things get skewed in him.
But cue some very awkward fumbling on his end at the tease, and a flush of the ears. It's a good thing he decided to text John instead of video him, or else John would see one Very Flustered Teenager. But that tone is.... probably obvious by the way Peter responds.... ]
Oh we don't Do anything like that We're not really like, technically dating, I think?
Though I mean we're definitely something? Okay this is a dumb question, but How do you know when you're actually dating someone? Like, what makes people "a couple", you know what I mean?
[ ....This "adult" is very much still a baby, okay. But he Doesn't Know Things and... here's a more experienced adult to maybe talk to a little bit about it. ]
[ It would still take the piss out of him, no doubt. There's always a cost to magic. Just have to be sure that cost aligns to what you get out of it or one makes sure they can stave it off for another day. ]
like that, yeah. oh no, this is a different friend. but if i'd known him then i'm sure we would've found our own brand of trouble then for sure.
[ The being flustered is pretty obvious despite the lack of visual evidence. It's adorable, really. ]
still skirting around it all then?definitely something but not quite dating. are there sparks? and i'm not just talking the magical sort cause she's got talent with that. emotionally and all. do you make each other happy?
[ He's not exactly the greatest example of a good and decent relationship. He hasn't had one of those since Natalie and well. It didn't end well. ]
Yeah, he definitely seemed like he could tell some stories
[ Ones that would probably put Peter's tame crimes of Underage Marijuana Use to shame. Truly a badass over here. ]
I guess it's kind of like Well, we went through a lot together.... to begin with? Last year, when the Titanic thing happened, and then we were in that Rapture place together for a long time Just trying to survive, really
[ Was.... John here, then? Peter can't remember seeing him way back then, but he supposes it's possible. Strange to think about. ]
So now we're kind of doing the whole.... teenage date stuff a little bit backwards, I guess? And it's really.... new
[ It's strange to be allowed to do normal things, basically. After their relationship together was founded in and strengthened through so much strangeness and despair and demons. But there's a shy little smile, secret, at the questions. ]
We do Even with all the.... demon stuff We're happy when we're together
[ Sappy sap.... But it... means a great deal, and he's struggled with it for a long time, still does in some ways. The concept that he's not... a bad thing for her. That he can pursue.... well, some kind of future with Luna. ]
get him a beer if you can sneak one without trouble and he'll give over a story or two i'm sure.
[ Considering the big man is an ex-con and thief, it surely would. But he's pretty positive even his antics as a young one would've shamed Peter's. Doesn't mean it's a bad thing. ]
usually how that sort of thing starts. common interests and goals and buds into more.
[ He wasn't, but he's heard about it off and on. Ben told him about it first when he was stressed after nearly dying again thanks to an orc attack. ]
doesn't so much matter about what order it goes in. more of an end destination type of thing and you two seem to be comfortable with how that's going.
long as the two of you are happy, it's all that matters. hold onto that, yeah?
[ He's made the mistake of not, before. He hopes he's not stupid enough to do it again here. ]
[ This is knowledge Peter files away for someday, maybe. He'd like to talk to Mick again, thank him for.... well, helping him out back then. Talking to him. Distracting him from what was going on in that room, with John. ]
I guess I'm kind of worried about the whole 'end destination' thing? With... everything going on With me, I mean
[ He doesn't mean to consistently be a downer about it, but... it is a big concern. A big weight. It's also a Heavy Topic to throw at John, but Peter figures he of all people understands. ]
I'm kind of scared to get too comfortable, I guess? Because what if something bad happens or I stop being me?
[ John's still just grateful that Peter had someone who could be there with him when John couldn't during all that. ]
whatever's happening with you or might happen with you, it's not worth putting off being happy now. not worth that trade-off.
[ Take it from someone who did a trade-off that was no good once upon a time. It's a hell of a thing for someone to have to worry about, especially a kid. ]
whatever happens later is for then, yeah? right now you're here and so's she. don't waste that.
[ There's a long pause, Peter having to actually take a few moments. It... means a lot to hear, affects him deeply. Through all of the fear and worry and difficulties, he wants the happiness Luna makes him feel. Someone telling him that it's okay to want that.... to hang onto it? It means a lot. ]
I don't want to waste it, or ruin it with worrying I guess I'm still afraid sometimes I'm going to hurt her? You know? Even if she's a witch and can... heal and stuff I don't want to hurt her
[ ...And he still could. Memories of his own broken nose, the horrible pain it involved... The demon could smash someone else's face like that in a second. Or other things. It's a horrible image, a.... constant knowledge that something very potentially dangerous lives inside of him. Sometimes he still thinks getting close to Luna emotionally, physically... is dangerous.
There's another pause as he... thinks of something. Something he's not sure how to ask. But John had mentioned being possessed.... more than once. So after a moment, Peter just does it. Asks. Getting Adult Help when you're hosting a demon means sometimes this shit comes with the territory, clearly. ]
Did you ever hurt someone you care about? In the times you were possessed?
then think of it like this: no matter what happens she knows what she's getting into. she knows what could happen and she's still here. for you. that sort of thing doesn't come along often, old son.
[ When he was first possessed it was outside of this place and very different. He had invited the bastard in to save his own life when he was dying from a gunshot wound. ]
i put the people i care about through hell because i relied on a demon to save my life when i was dying. one of those people was my first love.
I know you're right She's such an incredible person and she's done so much for me I know I'm really lucky to have her
[ He does; he doesn't want to diminish that with his worries. There's still so much that's.... so difficult, so scary, and things he wishes he could change, but Luna had said it once — they wouldn't be who they are now if things were different. There's some terrible irony in it, but it's.. because of those scary things that they're so close. Peter's worries just rear up often, like waves crashing against the shore. And all of this... demons, possession, they're not part of his normal reality; he's still so new to all of it.
That next bit, though.... Peter just sits there for another long moment, taking that in. This, this is a reminder that things like this are John's normal reality, and there's a heavy soberness in Peter. ]
I'm sorry What happened to them? Your first love?
But if you don't want to talk about it, it's okay
[ It's... deeply personal, after all. Because it's obvious that whatever happened, this person and John aren't together anymore. "First love" insinuates there were others to come after. Insinuates an ending. But this is kind of.... part of that whole Teenage Talk he's sorely lacking experience in. He'd never gotten to hear his parents talk about their first loves or anything like that. ]
well, knowing is half the battle or so they say. try telling her that, see where it leads you both.
[ His worries are valid, though. Teens have enough to contend with outside of worrying over demonic possession and barmy cults. It's hard to find a life preserver in all that, but he seems to be doing just fine. It reminds him a lot of he and Annie when they were that age. ]
don't have to apologize. she was with me during a seance that ended badly. i was young and stupid and thought far too highly of myself.
some things went wrong, really wrong and she told me she'd kill me if she ever saw me again. nearly did, too, but for other reasons.
[ It is incredibly personal. But if John can share one sordid piece of his life and all it's ugliness and hopefully keep Peter from making a mistake like it then---well. Then it's bloody worth it. ]
Actually.... I did tell her how lucky I am to have her A little while back
[ It's a memory that feels like warm hot chocolate on a chilly autumn night, and tentative fingers on skin, and a chaste, first kiss. Peter hesitates, shy all over again, before he shares that part of it too. ]
It made her really happy She kissed me It was our first kiss ever
[ Both with each other, but also with anyone. He's quietly proud to tell someone. Though... what John shares next is incredibly sad and Peter's just sitting there for a moment or two. He won't claim to understand the extent of what John does or how, but it still feels familiar to him in its way. Supernatural, seances, demons. Peter's barely just seen those things in his young life and he only wants to hide away from them. He's lost.... everything because of those dark things: lost his family, his home. Himself. Sounds like John's lost a hell of a lot, too. So why does he... do it? The boy has to wonder, though it's a heaviness in his chest to. ]
The kind of stuff you do It's so scary It
sounds like it can cost so much [ Maybe too much. ]
[ He's just about to ask how that went for him when he sees the next text. There's a warm feeling that blossoms out in his chest when he reads it. Good for Peter and Luna both.]
you never forget the first one.
[ Not even John, for all of the awful things he's come across in the times before and since. He still remembers skirting around Annie, more shy than anyone now has ever seen him. All that bluster he would have later on in life then a mess of teenage nerves. Most people party to his life would probably say that he is, in a word: tragic. Of course the mage would just as soon shrug it off, but he knows the sorrow that lingers around him like grey skies. ]
because it's what i'm good at. because someone has to.
there's always a price to it. everybody wants to have a go at me cause i do things most consider unsavory at the very least but don't want to admit it needs doing. i'm an easy mark to hate.
makes them feel better about turning a blind eye to it.
It was definitely memorable, especially since I uh kind of cried A lot of people probably can't claim that for their first kiss
[ It's...... slightly embarrassing to admit.... but also kind of nice, too?? He's.. still learning how to Actually Share Things, and even though he's cringing at himself, there's a weird warmth in him, too. ]
Some people hate you because of what you do? But you.... help people
[ He's never once thought that John would be someone worth directing anger and hate towards. The man deals with the most terrifying things Peter's ever encountered. If anything, he's sorry that John has to. ]
I'd probably have lost my mind if I didn't have you helping me Someone who knows what the fuck he's doing, because I sure don't
then it'd probably surprise you to know that i was a mess of nerves after mine? couldn't stop trembling.
[ Not a memory he digs into much, if often at all. John doesn't share a lot, normally. Or if he does it's idle chatter. Nothing too solid or real. No way to get too close to him. This place is changing that. ]
but it comes with a price. a cost that most people aren't willing to pay.
[ It's moments like these that make him feel a little better about his useless heart and all. It's also moments like these that make him question how long a thing like this will last before it crumbles in his hands. ]
i'm glad i can help.
[ He doesn't know what he can really do to fix this, though. That thought terrifies him. Yes, he's connected to both Peter and Paimon now but---the idea of losing one or both? It's unsettling for sure.
And in his world he already knows how this sort of thing ends. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Like whiskey? My dad used to drink that
How long have you known him? Wait, is he that friend you told me about once, who used to get you in trouble when you were younger?
[ ....John had, in fact, told Peter that his friend's name was Jasper, but Peter... forgets things. Names, dates, things get skewed in him.
But cue some very awkward fumbling on his end at the tease, and a flush of the ears. It's a good thing he decided to text John instead of video him, or else John would see one Very Flustered Teenager. But that tone is.... probably obvious by the way Peter responds.... ]
Oh we don't
Do anything like that
We're not really like, technically dating, I think?
Though I mean we're definitely something?
Okay this is a dumb question, but
How do you know when you're actually dating someone?
Like, what makes people "a couple", you know what I mean?
[ ....This "adult" is very much still a baby, okay. But he Doesn't Know Things and... here's a more experienced adult to maybe talk to a little bit about it. ]
no subject
like that, yeah.
oh no, this is a different friend.
but if i'd known him then i'm sure we would've found our own brand of trouble then for sure.
[ The being flustered is pretty obvious despite the lack of visual evidence. It's adorable, really. ]
still skirting around it all then?definitely something but not quite dating.
are there sparks? and i'm not just talking the magical sort cause she's got talent with that.
emotionally and all. do you make each other happy?
[ He's not exactly the greatest example of a good and decent relationship. He hasn't had one of those since Natalie and well. It didn't end well. ]
no subject
[ Ones that would probably put Peter's tame crimes of Underage Marijuana Use to shame. Truly a badass over here. ]
I guess it's kind of like
Well, we went through a lot together.... to begin with?
Last year, when the Titanic thing happened, and then we were in that Rapture place together for a long time
Just trying to survive, really
[ Was.... John here, then? Peter can't remember seeing him way back then, but he supposes it's possible. Strange to think about. ]
So now we're kind of doing the whole.... teenage date stuff a little bit backwards, I guess?
And it's really.... new
[ It's strange to be allowed to do normal things, basically. After their relationship together was founded in and strengthened through so much strangeness and despair and demons. But there's a shy little smile, secret, at the questions. ]
We do
Even with all the.... demon stuff
We're happy when we're together
[ Sappy sap.... But it... means a great deal, and he's struggled with it for a long time, still does in some ways. The concept that he's not... a bad thing for her. That he can pursue.... well, some kind of future with Luna. ]
no subject
[ Considering the big man is an ex-con and thief, it surely would. But he's pretty positive even his antics as a young one would've shamed Peter's. Doesn't mean it's a bad thing. ]
usually how that sort of thing starts.
common interests and goals and buds into more.
[ He wasn't, but he's heard about it off and on. Ben told him about it first when he was stressed after nearly dying again thanks to an orc attack. ]
doesn't so much matter about what order it goes in. more of an end destination type of thing and you two seem to be comfortable with how that's going.
long as the two of you are happy, it's all that matters. hold onto that, yeah?
[ He's made the mistake of not, before. He hopes he's not stupid enough to do it again here. ]
no subject
I guess I'm kind of worried about the whole 'end destination' thing?
With... everything going on
With me, I mean
[ He doesn't mean to consistently be a downer about it, but... it is a big concern. A big weight. It's also a Heavy Topic to throw at John, but Peter figures he of all people understands. ]
I'm kind of scared to get too comfortable, I guess?
Because what if something bad happens or I
stop being me?
no subject
whatever's happening with you or might happen with you, it's not worth putting off being happy now. not worth that trade-off.
[ Take it from someone who did a trade-off that was no good once upon a time. It's a hell of a thing for someone to have to worry about, especially a kid. ]
whatever happens later is for then, yeah? right now you're here and so's she. don't waste that.
no subject
I don't want to waste it, or ruin it with worrying
I guess I'm still afraid sometimes I'm going to hurt her?
You know?
Even if she's a witch and can... heal and stuff
I don't want to hurt her
[ ...And he still could. Memories of his own broken nose, the horrible pain it involved... The demon could smash someone else's face like that in a second. Or other things. It's a horrible image, a.... constant knowledge that something very potentially dangerous lives inside of him. Sometimes he still thinks getting close to Luna emotionally, physically... is dangerous.
There's another pause as he... thinks of something. Something he's not sure how to ask. But John had mentioned being possessed.... more than once. So after a moment, Peter just does it. Asks. Getting Adult Help when you're hosting a demon means sometimes this shit comes with the territory, clearly. ]
Did you ever
hurt someone you care about?
In the times you were possessed?
no subject
no matter what happens she knows what she's getting into. she knows what could happen and she's still here.
for you.
that sort of thing doesn't come along often, old son.
[ When he was first possessed it was outside of this place and very different. He had invited the bastard in to save his own life when he was dying from a gunshot wound. ]
i put the people i care about through hell because i relied on a demon to save my life when i was dying.
one of those people was my first love.
no subject
She's such an incredible person
and she's done so much for me
I know I'm really lucky to have her
[ He does; he doesn't want to diminish that with his worries. There's still so much that's.... so difficult, so scary, and things he wishes he could change, but Luna had said it once — they wouldn't be who they are now if things were different. There's some terrible irony in it, but it's.. because of those scary things that they're so close. Peter's worries just rear up often, like waves crashing against the shore. And all of this... demons, possession, they're not part of his normal reality; he's still so new to all of it.
That next bit, though.... Peter just sits there for another long moment, taking that in. This, this is a reminder that things like this are John's normal reality, and there's a heavy soberness in Peter. ]
I'm sorry
What happened to them? Your first love?
But if you don't want to talk about it, it's okay
[ It's... deeply personal, after all. Because it's obvious that whatever happened, this person and John aren't together anymore. "First love" insinuates there were others to come after. Insinuates an ending. But this is kind of.... part of that whole Teenage Talk he's sorely lacking experience in. He'd never gotten to hear his parents talk about their first loves or anything like that. ]
no subject
try telling her that, see where it leads you both.
[ His worries are valid, though. Teens have enough to contend with outside of worrying over demonic possession and barmy cults. It's hard to find a life preserver in all that, but he seems to be doing just fine. It reminds him a lot of he and Annie when they were that age. ]
don't have to apologize.
she was with me during a seance that ended badly. i was young and stupid and thought far too highly of myself.
some things went wrong, really wrong and she told me she'd kill me if she ever saw me again.
nearly did, too, but for other reasons.
[ It is incredibly personal. But if John can share one sordid piece of his life and all it's ugliness and hopefully keep Peter from making a mistake like it then---well. Then it's bloody worth it. ]
no subject
A little while back
[ It's a memory that feels like warm hot chocolate on a chilly autumn night, and tentative fingers on skin, and a chaste, first kiss. Peter hesitates, shy all over again, before he shares that part of it too. ]
It made her really happy
She kissed me
It was our first kiss ever
[ Both with each other, but also with anyone. He's quietly proud to tell someone. Though... what John shares next is incredibly sad and Peter's just sitting there for a moment or two. He won't claim to understand the extent of what John does or how, but it still feels familiar to him in its way. Supernatural, seances, demons. Peter's barely just seen those things in his young life and he only wants to hide away from them. He's lost.... everything because of those dark things: lost his family, his home. Himself. Sounds like John's lost a hell of a lot, too. So why does he... do it? The boy has to wonder, though it's a heaviness in his chest to. ]
The kind of stuff you do
It's so scary
It
sounds like it can cost so much [ Maybe too much. ]
Why do you do it?
no subject
you never forget the first one.
[ Not even John, for all of the awful things he's come across in the times before and since. He still remembers skirting around Annie, more shy than anyone now has ever seen him. All that bluster he would have later on in life then a mess of teenage nerves. Most people party to his life would probably say that he is, in a word: tragic. Of course the mage would just as soon shrug it off, but he knows the sorrow that lingers around him like grey skies. ]
because it's what i'm good at.
because someone has to.
there's always a price to it. everybody wants to have a go at me cause i do things most consider unsavory at the very least but don't want to admit it needs doing. i'm an easy mark to hate.
makes them feel better about turning a blind eye to it.
no subject
kind of cried
A lot of people probably can't claim that for their first kiss
[ It's...... slightly embarrassing to admit.... but also kind of nice, too?? He's.. still learning how to Actually Share Things, and even though he's cringing at himself, there's a weird warmth in him, too. ]
Some people hate you because of what you do?
But you.... help people
[ He's never once thought that John would be someone worth directing anger and hate towards. The man deals with the most terrifying things Peter's ever encountered. If anything, he's sorry that John has to. ]
I'd probably have lost my mind if I didn't have you helping me
Someone who knows what the fuck he's doing, because I sure don't
no subject
[ Not a memory he digs into much, if often at all. John doesn't share a lot, normally. Or if he does it's idle chatter. Nothing too solid or real. No way to get too close to him. This place is changing that. ]
but it comes with a price. a cost that most people aren't willing to pay.
[ It's moments like these that make him feel a little better about his useless heart and all. It's also moments like these that make him question how long a thing like this will last before it crumbles in his hands. ]
i'm glad i can help.
[ He doesn't know what he can really do to fix this, though. That thought terrifies him. Yes, he's connected to both Peter and Paimon now but---the idea of losing one or both? It's unsettling for sure.
And in his world he already knows how this sort of thing ends. ]