( inbox. ) deer country.

[oldhound]

spoiler warning: John Constantine has never been the bigger person in his life. Ever.

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[oldhound]

I'm not. [ Unfortunately. ] I don't know that it helps at all after everything but---I thought he was getting better.

[ Suffering is an old friend. It's something he's used to shouldering quietly, though he's found himself trying more often as of late to let other people help him with it. That burden. It's hard after all these years on his own to remind himself that there are people genuinely willing to carry these things with him.

So, he holds out his good hand so that Varian can take a look. ]

Talking, yeah. I think the plants would prefer if I keep meditation out of it for a little while. Put the classes on hold for a few days. [ But that still doesn't address what Varian is saying. ] It got out of hand, the fight.

I never meant to take it that far.

[droptheious]

...It helps a little. I just wish he'd let it stick, but at this point, I think he's so - so scared of changing that he undoes it all the second he realises he has to still keep making an effort in being better. When- when being a jackass is easier than not being one, he takes it. Every time.

[And until Maul learns to stop taking the easy route...well, there's nothing that can be done for him.

Varian looks the hand over, frowning softly. ]

Yeah, the uh- meditation takes you so far, but for me what made me better was the talking. Once I actually opened up to people about how rough it was and had someone listen the symptoms disappeared very quickly. So if you ever need that...the uh, listening, I can help. I don't mind.

[And now he knows how to deal with it in the future- and more importantly, how to help his friends out when they need it. He shrugs at the comment about the fight. ]

It's- don't worry about it. I fixed him, it didn't kill him and honestly, I think he needed the solid reminder that he's not unbeatable.